The need for better Parenting Practices.

By Farzeen Amin

The challenges of the contemporary era have also evolved like technology and diseases. The youth and the elders do not share completely similar experiences of life. Unfortunately, the youth cannot relate with the past glory and challenges our elders had faced in their youth. In this fast evolution, the gap between the parents and young children has increased and most parents fail to seriously understand the issues of the young girls and boys. The psychological disorders in this regard are most misunderstood and poorly handled.  Mostly the depression, anxiety, and sadness are taken as excuses. The young ones, on the other hand, do not know how to express their challenges or they are afraid of being misunderstood by their elders so they keep it to themselves.


The Gap between parents and children is actually leading to the dangers towards young children especially where they feel hesitant to even share gruesome and disturbing incidences of bad touch and harassments. It is far from a logical understanding that why the parents of our society are still following the ancient techniques of grooming where they believe that Children must have fear of their Parents “ Bachon main maa baap ka dar hona chahiye”. The fear may make them disciplined and well mannered apparently but the damage it leaves inside the children is far greater and beyond repair.


Here are 5 dangerous outcomes of the gap between Parents and Children

1.     Easy Targets

Children who remain distant from their parents or do not talk much to their parents become easy Targets.

It is very sad that our children are not safe outside and inside their houses. It may sound insane to few people children have been reportedly been harassed and badly touched by the close relatives and close family friends who have direct entries to the houses. In severe cases, children have also been sexually assaulted inside their houses and threatened to remain quiet.

Here the children who are comfortable and open to talk to their parents would quickly report the incident to the parents so the predators would not dare to do such a thing to them. However, the quiet and shy children become easy targets, having said that it is equally important to keep an eye on your Children on every occasion and gathering inside and outside your house.

2.     Bullying

The educational institutions are the places where students meet people from different cultures, practices, and mindsets. The mild bullying of children can leave a dangerous impact on the children’s mind and continuous bullying can lead to serious abnormalities as well. Here the compatibility of the children with parents plays an important role. Only the parents can help their children to cope up with the situation by counseling them or by identifying the bullies. The matter is of serious concern and it has also resulted in mental disorders such as depression and anxiety. In serious cases, students also tend to harm themselves in confusion and frustration.

3.     Violent Patterns

The danger on children is not only incited directly but the indirect incidents such as fights amongst the parents, continuous loud voices and very strict environment also lead to the violent attitude in the future. The physical harsh punishments and repeated loud scolding also lead to disturbed mental behavior in the children. However, children become more aggressive in an overall manner as well.   

4.     Poor Handling of Stress

The children who are groomed in the environment where they had no freedom to choose and very restricted practices lose the creativeness and ability to resolve the problem. They become easy prey of mental disorders. The daily stressors become very difficult for them to handle. In extraordinary circumstances such as failure and cases of harassment, these young men and women find no other way to come out than self-harm and suicide in severe cases.

Only in 2019 in Pakistan, we have already heard so many news stories of suicides by young students and young talents. The reasons for such incidences are not obvious but the gap between the parents and children may have saved the lives if they could feel comfortable to share what they were going through.

5.      No Love for Parents

The children who have remained distant from their families in their early childhood tend to not feel comfortable with them in later years of their lives. They misbehave with their parents and give very less or no time to them.  The love between the families shatters and disappears with time leaving the whole life disturbed.


The motive of this article is not to discredit the efforts and love of parents but to enlighten and help them to evolve with the time to create better bonding with the children. It will not be wrong to say that the world is now unfortunately not a safe place for young children and also youth so the parents must work on their training from childhood.

It is very important to make a special bond with the children so that they can open up about every challenge the face inside the houses and in the outside world. So save your children and learn to be better parents.

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