Selfishness is one negative quality that no one likes to associate with oneself while the reality is that we all are selfish in one way or other. We all are guilty of putting ourselves before others in one way or other many a times in life but we very conveniently defines our selfishness as love for one self and defines an act of selfishness performed by others as selfishness. We often confuse the idea concept of loving one with being selfish.
While in reality both these concepts are far different from each other if a person is doing something In his own interest to fulfill his own needs to protect his own reputation in his own capacity without steeling anybody else’s right without having mal intention towards any other person then he is doing that act under the influence of the feeling of self love but selfishness begins when one start doing something for himself without taking care of others it begins when a person begins to hurt others for his own benefits.
A selfish person is devoted to the idea of caring oneself only he is confined to the idea of I, me and myself, this approach only provides him with a short term happiness and success he might get satisfied for what he gets for the moment but the habit selfishness comes with a lot of dangers, a selfish person is more likely to be a victim of loneliness, anxiety and depression than a person who is not selfish basically a selfish person is left messed up in every capacity in the end with no one willing to help him out of the situation because he once had hurt them all for his own benefit.
But one can overcome the habit of being selfish by making minute changes in his behaviors but the first and foremost step is to find out if you are selfish or not or how frequently you perform acts of selfishness and what is your intention behind performing these acts do you perform it out of self love or out of selfishness.
To find out if you are selfish or not you first have to keep a check on yourself and your daily task you have to check yourself on the dining table that are you the first one to go for food while others are also waiting for it or are you the one going for the last piece of snacks while you know that the person sitting next to you needs it more.
Another way to find if you are selfish or not is by asking others around you to tell you about the selfish acts perform by you while doing so you might become aware of the things you do that hurts others or cause a discomfort to them like listening to music when they are studying or leaving lights on when they are trying to sleep.
After discovering that you are selfish it is very important for you accept the fact and begin to overcome it. The first thing that can be done to overcome it to develop a habit of listening to others, to listening to their needs and what they do to fulfill them, doing this will help you realize that other s are also working equally hard to reach for the thing you want to have for yourself only or while listening to them you may come to know that the need of other is bigger than yours.
To coming out of the habit of selfishness it is also important that you put yourself in other shoes and have a feeling of empathy with them. If you discover yourself extremely selfish during the process of discovering whether you are selfish or not then you should develop a habit of putting others before you or putting your needs behind others.
And last but not the least you should stop thinking big of one you should stop thinking that it only you who deserves all the happiness and respect in the world as selfishness has destroyed many futures it has taken many people to the height of committing suicide so its better to start working on overcoming it as soon as possible as a selfish person does not just hurt those around him but hurts himself more than he could hurt anyone.
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